Business Writing with a Winning Attitude

Directions: In a new Word doc (for online students) or on paper, rewrite the following sentences to incorporate the you attitude.

A
Example: I am pleased to inform you that you won a prize.
Revised: Congratulations! You have won a prize.

1. We received your shipment of modems yesterday.
2. I need you to confirm these dates with John Bates and Melissa Torres.
3. I have included your name on the active alumni database.
4. I am giving you a bonus for your energy-saving suggestion.
5. We offer three billing options from which you may choose.
6. We appreciate your buying our products.
7. We think your quarterly report will become a useful document as you plan your investments.
8. I am glad you promptly returned my call.

B
Directions: Change the negative statements below to positive statements.
Example: Please do not forget to lock the door. Revised: Please remember to lock the door.
1. Do not use the I/We approach in your messages.
2. Do not hesitate to call us when you need additional information.
3. Never fail to clean your work area before you leave each day.
4. We do not make exchanges for purchases without receipts.
5. You can't make deposits after 2:30 p.m.
6. You should not misspell names in a message.
7. Don't neglect reading your daily management tip email.

Directions: Change the sexist terms/statements below to gender-free sentences.
C.
Example: I had a police man come to my door. A police officer came to my door.
1. In Barraco Hospital, a physician may visit her patients as late as 10 p.m.
2. The Craigo Company has openings for six foremen.
3. In FCPS, a teacher submits her attendance sheet by 9 a.m.
4. A pharmacist must record her patients' prescriptions in a database.
5. Three firemen were injured while they brought the fire under control.
6. The mailman used proper lifting techniques to move the heavy bag.
7. A lawyer should do her best to defend her clients.
8. Do we have a chairman for the meeting?

D.
Directions: In the space provided, rewrite the following sentences; eliminate the words it and there.
Example: There are seven exceptions to this rule. Revised: This rule has seven exceptions.
1. It is a requirement for you to attend every meeting.
2. There are four methods you may use to develop courteous messages.
3. It was stated by Heather that an hour of dancing could burn between 200 and 400 calories.
4. It will be February 10 before you will receive your materials.
5. This letter isn't dated, is it?
6. It was recommended by Eric Templeton that you form the habit of rewriting to improve message clarity.
7. It is our pleasure that you have chosen Parkway Company as your insurance provider.