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A Quick Fixes Diet

A Quick Fixes Diet

The causes and effects in this paragraph are that the lack of discipline and will power of AMERICANS in regard to healthy eating CAUSE them to believe that they can use the same logic toward their Dieting, which leads to the EFFECT of Quick Fix Diets as a result of their beliefs in regard to lack of discipline and willpower. The CAUSE of Americans receiving unrelenting marketing about Fad diets and miracle diets leads to the EFFECT of Americans engaging in QUICK FIX diets. The CAUSE of Quick Fix diets leads to the EFFECT of more and unhealthier American citizens.

No, this is still not what I want, and please get rid of the all-caps wording. I use that myself sometimes for emphasis in commentary, but it has no place in a formal piece of writing.

Secondly, I don't like how the first sentence talks about the paragraph. Don't talk about the paragraph itself; talk about the topic. This reads more like a response to me (and an angry one, at that), not like an intro paragraph.

Thirdly, I don't like the way this bounces back and forth from cause to effect. That is confusing, in itself.

Fourthly, and most seriously, the first and second effects are the same: using quick-fix diets. Even the wording is almost identical. Anyway, that is your topic, not an effect.

So to make this work, you need to zero in on the last sentence, which is the only real effect you list: poorer health. If you will just subdivide that into three different ways in which quick-fix dieting harms a person's health, then you can actually perhaps write a good essay from this. This would call for yet a third draft of the intro.

Solution Preview

Quick fix diets are an American pastime in the same sense that Baseball is an American pastime. These diets have a negative effect on health because they cause people to believe that their dieting can be done in ...

Solution Summary

The cause of quick fix diets which lead to the effects of more and unhealthier American citizens. The zero in on the last sentences are given.

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