Listening Skills

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I am a guidance counselor so I definitely agree with your first choice. Listening, not hearing is also known as active listening. You are right that this is a skill that all people should possess and most do not. There is a big difference between hearing and listening. When someone is listening, they are actually retaining and processing what the other person is saying while at the same time having emotions. When someone just hears, they are "listening" just to please the other person but really don't care what is being told to them.

When someone is listening, they are comprehending the facts that are being told to them, and are paying attention to the emotional overtones. When people just hear, they often come across as not caring. People who listen are able to develop empathy and/or sympathy for their counterparts. Body language is also a sign of "listening", not hearing.

People who have good listening skills, get along with coworkers, friends and society members better. They are able to work together with different groups of people at any time and are often seen as reasonable. People who listen, not just hear are often looked at as being leaders and responsible.

Listening has many advantages - it is the most important form of communication and that is how many relationships form and last. Couples who listen to each other often have long lasting marriages, etc.

Hearing and not listening often leads to divorce among couples; children often get alienated and friendships fail.

If you have a parent who only hears, then they really do not care what their child if feeing and/or experiencing. They have a one track mind and are selfish.

Ways to improve listening skills are:

Part II: How to Listen (Attentive Listening Skills)

Listening Strategy and Skills

Your skill as a listener can make or break your success in leadership, teams, customer relationships, and negotiation.

Part II of the topic Listening Strategy and Skills is by businessLISTENING.com editor Bruce Wilson, a business coach for executives, professionals, and entrepreneurs.

Attentive listening means thinking and acting in ways that connect you with the speaker. While active listening usually happens naturally when we are very interested in what someone is saying, we can also choose to listen actively whenever we want to maximize the quality of our listening, both in terms of the effect it has on us and the effect it has on those we are speaking to. By contrast, when people "multi-task" while someone speaks, they rarely listen effectively.

Of course sometimes you will choose not to listen attentively. If listening is important to you, you may choose to reschedule that conversation. Otherwise you will multi-task (letting your mind wander thinking about something else, reading e-mail, doodling, etc.).

There are several simple steps you can take to improve your listening. The quality of information exchanged, your own experience as a listener, the experience of the person you are listening to, and your relationship with the listener will all benefit. The steps are:

Get Over Yourself, Give Them A Solo.

Stop Multi-tasking.

Recap regularly.

Use Connecting Words.

Use Body Language.

Get Over Yourself, Give Them A Solo.

If you assert your own position at every opening in a conversation you will eliminate many of the potential benefits of listening. In particular, people you are talking with will not feel respected by you, their thinking and brainstorming will be inhibited, and they may even withhold important information out of caution--or out of anger.

Wait until they finish making their points before you speak. Don't interrupt, even to agree with them, and don't jump in with your own suggestions before ...