Extended Family

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Extended Family

This type of family consists of a large family group where grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters live together.

There are many advantages in this type of family
? it may be more economical to share expenses
? parents have support with childcare
? sharing problems
? companionship

There are also disadvantages in the extended family
? lack of privacy
? overcrowding

This type of family structure was common in the early part of the 20th century and is still common in some cultures today but in many countries, changes have taken place in society and the extended family is less common.

Ideally, when a man and a woman get married, they move out of their parents' homes and get their own place. However, because of many situations that include lack of financial support, most young married couples are forced to live with the parents of either the bride or the groom until such time that they are able to afford to live on their own. Also, there are many instances that parents who are in their senior years live with their adult children and their families so that they won't have to live in nursing homes. There are also instances where a married sibling and his family who suffer lack of financial support would seek refuge in the home of a married brother or sister and their family who have to take them in because they are next of kin. Or, younger siblings of the husband or wife have to live with them because of many of the same reasons having to do with finances. Well, these scenarios happen in Philippine families, in other Asian countries, in the western world, and in fact all over the world.

According to Thesaurus, an extended family is a social unit composed of, usually, three generations of relatives living together. The "nuclear" family or the core family is the main family unit where the extensions are attaching themselves. Sometimes, the house gets too crowded with many family members and the privacy of the nuclear family is compromised and this is one of its disadvantages. Another disadvantage is that if the grandparents meddle with the upbringing of the children and tend to boss around the house, the nuclear couple will usually react. This can create misunderstandings between the husband and wife. In this case, the "Golden Rule" applies--"whoever has the gold rules", meaning, whoever owns the house is the one who rules. Other disadvantages of course are added mouths to feed and room or space to provide for all of the people living in one space.

But there are advantages to an extended family living under one roof. Remember the movie "Home Alone" with Macaulay Culkin? The boy was left behind because the family was so big; the Mom was not able to keep track of the little boy because of all of the children. They had this huge house where the uncle and his family also lived and shared together with the main family. In fact, a study in 2008 said that 31% of Britons said that they thought it made financial sense to live as an extended family, perhaps because they can either share the rent or the mortgage, as well as the bills. More people means that there is a smaller share when doing the household chores. My brother who lives in Brisbane, Australia now has three small kids--a 5 year-old, a 3 year-old, and a 3 month-old. My sister-in-law also works and therefore needs all the help she can get. So, she enlisted the help of her mother who is a retired school principal in Romblon, to come to Australia and stay with the kids, plus, my sister also stays with them and also helps out with baby-sitting and household chores. It just makes sense.

I believe that no matter the reason why relatives come to us to take refuge in our homes, it is always love that makes us accept them into our fold. If we can help people we don't know, we should help our own flesh and blood even more. Wisdom, communication, and common sense is needed here because the husband and the wife should first agree to take in relatives. Wisdom is also needed in helping family members get back on their own feet so that they won't stay with you ...