Main point of the essay

The Road to a Healthier Life

What is one thing you [Word choice. You and your mean general humanity. In academic writing, second person (you and your) should be replaced with a third person pronoun (he, she, it, one, and they). ] can control in your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] life? I will give you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] a minute to think about it....Healthful Eating. Healthful eating is important to reach your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] optimum health. And if you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] care about your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] health, it is the first to step to a healthier life.

Eating healthy makes you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] feel so much better about yourself. Fatty filled foods leave you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] feeling overly full and groggy all the time. Do you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] ever have that feeling after eating? I'm [Contractions should not be used in academic writing. Contractions are shortened versions of two words that are created with the use of an apostrophe where some letters are left out. Example - don't = do not, can't = cannot, isn't = is not.] sure you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] do, we have all been there one time or another. Your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] self-esteem will be higher if you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] chose the healthy route. Your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] friends will notice the weight you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] lost and they [This is a run-on sentence because there is not a comma before the conjunction. Run-on sentences occur when conjunctions (and/or) and punctuation marks (commas and semicolons) are not used properly. ] will compliment [Use complement and compliment correctly. As a noun, complement means something that completes, and compliment means recognition or praise. As a verb, complement means to complete, and compliment means to praise. ] you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] . Maybe even that special someone might give you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] the look, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] have been waiting for. Doesn't [Contractions should not be used in academic writing.] that sound good? Everybody wants to hear great [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Rather, use exceptional or another similar word instead of great.] things about themselves. And not even that, [Remove comma] you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] will have the good feeling of knowing that you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] did something great [Colloquial - use exceptional] for yourself [Run-on sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] . Your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] clothes will fit better and hey, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] will even look better in that new bikini or outfit you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] just bought. I am [Use a.m. for this abbreviation.] not trying to make someone you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] are not; I am [Use a.m. for this abbreviation.] just trying to open your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] mind to something that is good for you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] [Run-on sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] . We all can stand to try something new and healthy and why not start today?

Now, I know you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] are like well, okay, [Word choice. Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Use all right instead of okay or ok.] that sounds good and all but I [Run-on sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] like what I eat and healthy food is so expensive. I shake my head at that statement because although some healthy food is expensive there are so many ways around that whole ordeal. You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] do not have to buy name brand food because it is popular. For example, healthy choice, slim fast, Atkins diet. News flash: Most of those foods are expensive because they are popular. And boxed foods are not always as healthy as home made foods. So how about making your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] own food? There are so many foods and choices to choose from. Instead of using ground hamburger meat for many of your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] dishes, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] can use turkey meat. I use it myself and it [Run-on sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] is very healthy and has almost no oil or fat at all. In fact, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] do not even have to drain the meat. There is also the choice of using creative meal ideas with chicken breast, an array of vegetables and salads, etc. You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] can also use a George Forman Grill to cut down on the fats in your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] meat. Grilling and baking are so much healthier that fried foods. Fish is also good source of nutrition and it [Run-on sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] offers a low fat choice. You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] can also bake or grill the fish. Frying fish is just too fattening. I have just offered you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] some delicious choices for transitioning yourself into a healthy lifestyle, so what is your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] excuse now?

If a way around the price does not get you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] to change, think about our children. There are so many obese children in the world, it is ridiculous. Instead of sitting in the house watching sponge bob, they should be outside running and playing. Also, [Word choice. Eliminate also at the beginning of a sentence.] involving them an after school or extracurricular activity might help too. Instead giving in to child's wants of junk, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] can give them alternative healthy snacks. Those snacks can range from carrots to apples. Healthy snacks are an easy way to transition your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] child to healthy meals. A good way to transition your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] child to healthy meals is to let them help you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] prepare the meals. That way they feel proud that they got to [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Instead, use received.] help mommy or daddy and of course [Comma before "of course"] [Insert comma] they will want to eat them. The prevention of obesity starts with the parents, we must make the change. Do it as a family, it is wonderful idea. There are too many children on various talk shows with an obesity problem. Their mom's are always saying they give their kids [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Rather, use children instead of kids.] what they want because they love them. But if they really [Word choice. Really is a weak word whose literal meaning is "not imaginary." Use truly or another specific adjective for more effective writing. ] loved their kids [Colloquial - use children instead of kids] wouldn't [Contractions should not be used in academic writing.] they want them to be healthy. I believe that shows more love than getting into things they obviously do not need. Obesity leads to various health problems such as asthma, heart problems and adult obesity and sometimes death. The latter probably caught you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] attention. So how about making that change, let's help our kids [Colloquial - use children instead of kids] .

Last but certainly not least, once you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] have began healthy eating, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] must exercise. I know you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] are thinking, no not this one. But in order to lose weight and maintain a healthy diet you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] must exercise. I learned this interesting fact while working at 24 Hour Fitness. Diet and exercise go hand in hand [A hyphen is required between these two words. Place a hyphen between two words that act as an adjective. No space appears before or after the hyphen. Example - a well-known play.] . These two thing can not be fads either or just until you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] lose weight. Diet and exercise are lifestyle choices. Have you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] noticed that most people who exercise and diet and lose weight might gain it back a short time later? That is because they did their plan until they thought it was good enough and stopped. That just can not happen. You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] have stick with it and everything will be better in the long run [Eliminate all clichés for more effective academic writing. A cliché is a phrase that has been used so much that it has no specific meaning. ] . Now some of you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] might want to take the easy way out. I am [Use a.m. for this abbreviation.] talking about [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Rather, use discussing, speaking of, or stating instead of talking about.] plastic surgery, pills and many weight loss shots. Those are also short-term fixes. If you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] take pill or shots, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] have to think about the future. Eventually, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] will stop using the pill or stop getting the shots and chances are you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] may or may not gain the weight back. It's [Contractions should not be used in academic writing.] a 50/50 [A word-slash-word combination is inappropriate in an academic paper. Write it out word-slash-word.] toss up. And to all you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] guys who love the idea of plastic surgery as your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] fix, did you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] know you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] must also diet to keep the weight they took away off. You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] learn new things everyday.

So with all the things I have taught you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] , what are you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] thinking now? Hopefully [Insert comma] the answer is I am [Use a.m. for this abbreviation.] going start the transition to healthy eating. As I have said in paragraphs before you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] will feel about yourself, you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] can create a great [Colloquial - use exceptional] budget and it [Run-on sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] is an awesome way to keep your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] kids [Colloquial - use children instead of kids] healthy. Make the great [Colloquial - use exceptional] choice, make the right choice, and make the healthy choice!!! You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] 'll [Contractions should not be used in academic writing.] be glad you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] did.