Critically Assess an Email
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I am a new publisher with some really great books to sell. I saw your announcement in Publishers Weekly about the bookseller's show you're having this summer, and I think it's a great idea. Count me in, folks! I would like to get some space to show my books. I thought it would be a neat thing if I could do some live airbrushing on T-shirts to help promote my hot new title, T-Shirt Art. Before I got into publishing, I was an airbrush artist, and I could demonstrate my techniques. I've done hundreds of advertising illustrations and have been a sign painter all my life, so I'll also be promoting my other book, hot off the presses, How to Make Money in the Sign Painting Business.
I will be starting my PR campaign about May 2000 with ads in PW and some art trade papers, so my books should be well known by the time the show comes in August. In case you would like to use my appearance as part of your publicity, I have enclosed a biography and photo of myself.
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Solution Summary
This posting will present you with an email that a new publisher is sending to a trade show asking to be part of the group. The goal of this posting is to critically assess the posting, and provide recommendations.
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There are several weaknesses:
1) He does not get to his point until the end of the document, when he wrote: PS. The main goal of the letter is to find out the cost, and the reader of the letter does not want to read the entire letter to only find out the point at the end. His intention should be placed in the first sentence of his letter. For example:
Dear xxx,
My name is Mr. XYZ, and I am a new publisher. I am writing to inquire into the price for a space for a booth for the upcoming bookseller's show. I appreciate you taking the time to read this email, and for allowing me to introduce myself and talents.
2) The letter is very informal. He uses phrases like "count me in folk". It does not seem very professional. He sounds eccentric, and this might give off the image that he is not serious, and would not make a steady business partnership. When trying to build a business relationship it is critical to make yourself seem like ...
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